WASH LINE - Summer 2002

By Peggy Harris, W.A.S.H. Board Chair
Women and Men Against Sexual Harassment and Other Abuses
www.tagnet.org/wash

EDITORIAL

August 24 is Abuse Awareness Day for the Seventh-day Adventist Church. This is a first! We encourage all churches to participate in this day by having information made available to church members about abuse. You will see on the General Conference (GC) Women's Ministry web site a whole church service designed for this Sabbath.
Ask your local church pastor what is being prepared for your church. If nothing has been planned share with him the information available on the Women's Ministry web site. You will find links for both the GC and North American Division (NAD) Women's Ministry web sites on our W.A.S.H. web.

ABUSE AWARENESS

There are a number of materials on the W.A.S.H. web site for use on Abuse Awareness Sabbath. These can be printed off ahead of time to advertise this special Sabbath. Any of the materials on our web site are available to you to be printed to use in churches, schools, and homes as well as by individuals.

HOW IS THE SEXUAL ETHICS POLICY WORKING?

The Sexual Ethics Policy that the NAD has developed is working very well. Sexual Ethics committees are meeting as needed. We are happy to report that the tolerance for abuse is close to the zero mark now. We encourage church leaders to make it zero. If we are ever to bring healing to victims of abuse, the church needs to make it known that there is a zero tolerance for abuse in our church structure. Most victims want to make sure that abuse they have endured does not happen to someone else. Zero tolerance is the only way to make that happen. The day of just moving an abuse perpetrator to another site and hoping they will not abuse again has proven to be disastrous to any denomination. Statistics show that a perpetrator doesn't just abuse one victim. Usually it's many victims and they will keep doing it as long as they can get by with it.

FORGIVE AND FORGET?

This does not work. Many times victims are reluctant to come forward because the perpetrator seems so powerful with so many friends and has such an established reputation in the church. The victim is intimidated and feels that there is no way they can ever be believed because they feel they are just somebody without connections like the perpetrator seems to have. So they just assume that maybe the perpetrator will never do such terrible things again.
Sadly this just gives the perpetrator greater confidence that their crimes and sins will never come to light and they can do as they please. They become very arrogant and seek out other victims with confidence. Holding perpetrators accountable for what they have done is the only way to bring them to a halt and get them the help they need. They cannot do it by themselves. This is how they can be prevented from harming anyone else.

THE EMOTIONAL TOLL

Bringing a perpetrator to accountability takes courage on the part of the victims. Emotionally some are not able to do this by themselves. Sometimes parents feel that the best thing is to just forgive and forget. So nothing is done to bring the perpetrator to accountability. A child cannot do this itself. The parents are the protectors of the child. Sometimes they may feel intimidated because they trusted the perpetrators with their child so they feel partly to blame. It is not their fault they as well as their child were betrayed. Doing nothing to report and trying to hide the problem only makes the situation worse for the child and allows the perpetrator to just go on abusing others. It is a state law that any child being abused must be reported to local authorities. Violating that law may bring repercussions to the child's caretaker if they know about it and do not report. The sooner a child victim can get help the better off the future of the child. Far too many have lived with the abuse, memories hidden until later in life when something triggers the memory recall and they continue to suffer until they are able to get help.

RESOURCES

There are many resources now available to families and individuals for help than ever before. Seek out these resources and use them. On the W.A.S.H. web site we have many of these listed. There are other resources listed also. Your local conference family life office should have a list of resources readily available. There should be a list of councilors for abuse victims in the local church office. Councilors for perpetrators are especially trained for working in that area.

PREVENTION

Preventing abuse is the only way we will ever get ahead of the tide of abuse we see these days. Prevention must begin in the home by parents. There are books for children listed on the W.A.S.H. web that will help children understand in very simple terms to avoid having abuse happen to them. 

Secondarily, our churches need to be safe places for both children and adults. There are listed methods to achieve this on the W.A.S.H. web site. If your church does not have a child protection program ask that this be done. Waiting just brings the invitation to harm.

Thirdly, our elementary schools need to have ways to help children understand the dangers of abuse. This reinforces that the parents have taught their children at home. If there are children from homes that have not been taught at home, it provides a reasonable plan to allow a child to learn to protect themselves at school.

Fourthly, our secondary schools need further education available for young people to resist efforts of abuse being perpetrated upon them.

CONCLUSIONS

Children today are bombarded with so many opportunities for perpetrators to harm them. The Internet, schools, even church and families can have abusive members. Education will protect children as well as adults from harm without a witch-hunt going on. Knowledge is one of the best weapons to fight the increasing incidence of abuse. Ignorance breeds contempt and allows abuse to remain hidden and continue its deadly path. We cannot afford to continue the loss of talent that affects not only individuals but also our church! God gives us the intelligence and help that we need to put in place protection for our children and church members. This will then result in the betterment of society as well.

This page last updated on Sunday January 29, 2006 11:21 AM

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members and church leaders better understand the problems abuse brings and prevention methods.

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