WASH LINE - Spring 2000

By Peggy Harris, W.A.S.H. Board Chair
Women and Men Against Sexual Harassment and Other Abuses
www.tagnet.org/wash

EDITORIAL
By Peggy Harris
IT HAPPENED:

1. Frozen in a catatonic state, a young girl was raped by a trusted minister in the church building.  She prayed for the Lord to send someone into the room "right now", but no one came.  How does a young woman so violated deal with her rage against men, church and God?  It was only through the efforts of a loving, supportive family, that this woman has become a vibrant productive Christian who has learned first hand that bad things can happen to good people and they can survive.  However, the pain, the loss, the memory of the "event" never fades.

2. After finding no help or encouragement from her own church while in discovery and recovery from repeated childhood abuse from a relative and also a schoolteacher, a woman found herself in bed at night crying.  She would then feel a wonderful calm come over her and feel like she was safe in Jesus' arms.  Amazingly her trust in God was not broken by the broken trust relationships she had with men.

DANGERS IN OUR SCHOOLS

Another school year will soon be over.  We think of schools being a safe place for educating our children and it should be.  However, we should never take for granted that they are always safe.  Parents need to be involved in the home and school association and be aware of what goes on in their children's school. What help does your school provide to prevent abuse in their school?

Too many times in the past when there was a problem in school with a teacher or other person at the school abusing children, the perpetrator would be let go only to be hired by another school in another state.  One of the church's largest liability claims came from such incidents when years later the effects of this abuse became known.

Even places of higher education are not immune to abuse by either classmates or teachers.   When these incidents are not dealt with as they are discovered, it leads to continued abuse down the road by the perpetrator in the work place or in other families.   The snowball effect has disastrous results in lives harmed as well as other family members suffering from the hurt that victims have to live with the rest of their lives.

Getting the proper counselling early on helps both the victims and their families to deal with the abuse.  Getting the perpetrator out of the facilitating mode and also getting into the proper counselling will help to prevent further liability claims.   The abuser should pay for the victims treatment as well as their own.  One who has betrayed the trust placed in them and harmed children should forfeit the privilege of ever working with children again.

DANGERS OF INTERNET CHILD ABUSE

Cheryl Wetzstein's article titled "Children snared for sex abuse on Internet" in the Washington Times 3/29/00 tells the following story.

"Teresa Strickland of Alabama couldn't stop crying yesterday as she told a Senate panel how a 43 year-old man found her teen-age daughter through America Online and convinced her and a friend to run off with him last year.  The daughter and her friend escaped from the man, who is now in prison for felonies involving child pornography and exploitation."

These girls were very lucky.  Many children are not able to get away from their pursuers, the mother advised the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions subcommittee on children and families.

"Another parent, Tim Remsburg of Nashua, NH, was dry-eyed and angry as he explained how his 20 year-old stepdaughter, Amy Boyer, was stalked and killed in October by a local man who used Internet services to track her down.  Miss Boyer 'had never met this man' and had no idea two years ago he had created a Web page in which he detailed his plans to kill her, said Mr. Remsburg.

"The young man, who killed himself after shooting Miss Boyer as she sat helplessly in her car, had paid an Internet company $45 to find her Social Security number and found her employer with that information."

You should know that AOL allows parents to be able to limit where their children can go on line and also created a "Kids Only" section that is being monitored at all times.  However, despite these corporate efforts, it is still possible for individuals to be victimized on line.

FBI officials have arrested hundreds of suspected pedophiles through undercover monitoring of chat rooms.  "Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, said that Cyber-Tipline, located at www.cybertipline.com, had received more than 17,000 reports of suspicious or illegal Internet activities."

Unfortunately with all this, "the Internet is still the ideal medium for pedophiles to share their pictures and hunt for children who will become their victims, said Mary Anne Layden, a Pennsylvania therapist."

Some statistics from National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:

The rule of thumb for Internet Chat is that meeting someone on-line may be detrimental to your well being.  You have no way of knowing who you are actually talking to.   Never reveal any personal information including address or write to an individual met on-line. Just remember that people you meet on the street you never reveal personal information to them. The same applies on the Internet.

If you have children exploring the Internet be sure you know where they are and who they are talking to!  Just as you would not let your child wander around a city alone, so must you not let them wander through the Internet by themselves.  This may be one of the most dangerous exposures children can be subjected to.

LETTERS TO W.A.S.H. LINE

Your letters and comments are welcome and encouraged.

"I finally had a chance to read some more of the W.A.S.H. website.  Looks great!"  C  Via Internet

"I have an SDA preacher relative that sexually abused his daughter many times when she was a teenager.  My wife spent many hours with the resulting basket case daughter.  She confronted the powers that be and the abuser's wife (but) was not believed.  He (the perpetrator) kept his position but eventually found a position as a chaplain in a hospital.  After a few years of being a hospital chaplain he was honored by another position in the ministry in another conference (recently).  Isn't there a way abusive rag wearers can get into selling life insurance rather than being promoted for bad deeds?"  D  Via Internet

RESPONSE: Now that the church is finally taking its head out of the sand, hopefully these reports are being taken seriously.  It is never a good idea to shush and give up simply because one level of administration does nothing.

The conference that has hired him has taken a terrible risk.  If he should be caught doing abuse again, there is no liability insurance for that conference, church or union to cover litigation costs and award payments.  They could lose everything or at least lose more money than they can afford, simply because they did not follow outlined procedures in hiring an individual.

Regarding being an SDA Chaplain: if it is found out a person lied on their application they are immediately fired.

The strength of our church's safety starts at the grass roots level.  It is naive to think we should wait till safety measures filter down from the top levels of church administration.  It must work both ways. Ignoring abuse is an abomination to God because we then allow perps to go from place to place. This grossly misrepresents God to victims and puts innocent children and others in harm's way.  The other extreme is to go on witch-hunts.  That is certainly not Christian behavior.  We must be vigilant but not vigilantes!

This page last updated on Sunday January 29, 2006 11:20 AM

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