| Articles > What One Church is Doing About Abuse | ||
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I was calling some of my classmates who are not on email. I reached the widow of one who had called me last spring about materials we were working on in our church in regards to child abuse prevention. I told her I was coming to our class 50th reunion so she came and I was able to visit briefly with her. Yesterday she told me some of the incredible story that has been happening in her church. She accepted the position of local elder in 1996 and the Holy Spirit placed the burden on her heart that this church needed to deal with the problem of abuse. Various pastors came and went with not too much interest in delving into this problem. You see this church, Olympia, Washington, had a terribly sad history of abuse in its congregation. One member (an outgoing very active person) was convicted some years ago and served time for child abuse of some 45 children over many years. But the church had never done anything to help all the victims, many of whom had either gone to other churches, left the church or don't believe in God. One of this man’s daughter-in-laws wrote the book "Sins of the Father" published by Pacific Press under a pseudonym to protect her son who was also a victim. This evil man abused his own children, grandchildren and many others in the church. Several years ago my pastor's wife (Kathy Yergen, who is a niece of my classmates widow) told me that the church nominating committee was considering making the position he held (PA director) a church office to give him recognition. I called one of our W.A.S.H. Board members with expertise in perps and she contacted the pastor and the conference. That put a halt to that maneuver. But you see the mindset of the church! They seemed to be oblivious of the terrible harm this man had caused and since he was a "capable" person and had served his time felt he could be "useful". Well, Shirley (the elder I'm talking about here) went to work. She did a lot of research in Spirit of Prophesy about what Ellen G. White says about sin as well as what Jesus did about it when He was here. The pastor they have now (Tom Decker) used to be a youth pastor in our church years ago and a fine person. He is dealing with this now. And it is a heavy load. For the first time, the Olympia church has apologized to victims. Shirley has submitted a draft and they have been working through this. The conference, Union and NAD as well as GC are all watching to see how this works out. Last Sat. evening Shirley invited many victims and the pastor to her home where they talked. The victims had tears when again the pastor apologized to them. Several times this whole thing had made Tom physically sick. As you know, this is a very stressful thing for anyone to work through. We need to lift Pastor Tom, Shirley and this Olympia church in prayer continually. The church voted to disfellowship the man who did so much damage to so many children and also has prohibited him from ever attending this church where he caused such terrible havoc with children. Last February Washington State had a rather severe earthquake, centered in Olympia. The Olympia SDA Church was the only church that suffered great damage - so much that the whole interior is being rebuilt! Again, God impressed Shirley that this was a result of this church not dealing with the terrible problem in its history. When this church is finished soon it will be completely different inside than it was before. Already there have been some victims coming back. They are to begin a 22-week series produced by Faith For Today on healing from abuse. Shirley highly recommends this series. After the church members have completed this series then they will advertise it in the community and invite them to attend another session of this series. By the time that is finished they will then start evangelistic meetings. It will be very interesting to see how all this works out. There are many stories within all this that Shirley has seen unfold. I've urged her to begin writing this for a book. This would be so helpful for so many others dealing with this and even encourage other churches to begin the healing process in their area. God can bless and magnify the efforts of one or two individuals and multiply their efforts when they have the courage to do what is right. Even though it was several years from the time God led Shirley to address this issue in her church before a pastor came who was responsive to also address this sin problem, her efforts were not wasted. She spent the time doing research to find out just how God address issues of sin. So she was well prepared for the onslaught of what ever Satan could muster up against her. God brought people back into this church who also support this effort of bringing to accountability the church and help with the healing process. They now have several prayer groups growing in this church. When God’s people pray they hear His voice. Comments Some comments I’ve received from victims via the Internet are: “AT LAST, AT LAST, AT LAST!!! Somebody has got it right. Oh, this is what I have longed to see in our church for years! This is an incredible story, so similar to mine. The only difference was he (my father) wasn’t given positions, just allowed to carry on his behavior IN the church. I can’t go near the church anymore, so I have to worship separately from my husband, who is trying to resurrect it single handedly. I just told him that he is wasting his time, for until there is recognition and apology for bad behavior from not just my father’s era, but recent events equal in destruction, nothing will prosper. I will certainly e praying for Pastor Tom, Shirley and this church. May healing come to all affected through the power of the Holy Spirit! Blessings, rejoicings and love. Z” “This is about the best thing I have heard in a long time. There is a sister church to ours that our Pastor John also mentors down in the Olympia area that is a group of people who broke off that church you refer to. It is so good to hear of a church that is turning around and dealing with the needs of the victim’s healing and not just focusing on the (perhaps manipulative) repentance of the perp. I had heard about this situation and the story I had heard is that this perp was teaching an adult Sabbath School class. I do believe there are ways to tell if a person who has been deep into sin has truly dealt with the thinking errors of sin and addiction – but I do not think many who are church leaders have that discernment – so it very much concerned me when I heard that man was teaching in Sabbath School. “I truly wish these kinds of things could happen in Alaska. I know in all the classes I have taken on abuse and addictions, one of the perplexities for the professionals who work with these people is how to bring healing to the victims. There needs, especially in our churches, to be healing for the victims – who often have been cowed into being non-assertive and quiet about their issues and pain, or have had to (for their own survival). Too often I have seen the victimizers continue to hold a leadership position, having assertive, aggressive, and manipulative skills. After all, the victims of their crimes deserved it or were mentally ill (crazy). There is a great need for truth and discernment in our conferences and churches! K” “A few years ago I purchased and read the book “Sins of the Father.” When I had finished the book I donated it to the Avon Valley SDA Church library. A young woman took the book out of the library and it helped to start the lancing of a boil which I believe may end up with similar results to that mentioned in the book. L” Great Need One person indicated in the following message of this great need in our churches: “In real life I don’t get to talk to many people who talk real. People in the church are so artificial. They only speak if they want something from you. They ask, “How are you,” but don’t want to hear. I long for a good stimulating conversation on spiritual things. These are rare and delicious when it happens. “I have heard wonderful stories of people being converted, blessed, in worldly places, with people who don’t even know God. He can touch people anywhere! His arm is not too short to reach out into these places. Yes, when I go to church, even there, people who call themselves Christian do not know how to reach out to each other. It’s not just me; they do it to each other. Why is it that nearly every time the Pastor preaches he says, "be kind to me?" It's only because he is preaching to an unkind congregation. We don’t know how to behave as Christians. We don’t understand the word compassion let alone love. “I can only speak for what it is like in my part of the world. Hopefully, and I have felt warmth from over your side, things are different there, mostly. But then I too read about the lady gone to the Baptist church. How sad. What is it about us? We have the truth. Is that enough? I think not! “The attitude seems to be that as long as we have the truth we don’t need anything else. How sad. How can we ever press together, if we don’t love together or pray together? “That’s what I love about being in this Internet group. We can talk openly, share our hearts, our thoughts and appreciate each one for where they are and respect them for that. Encourage one another, laugh with each other and pray for one another. This is my church.”
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