I am a woman who has grown up in an Adventist community. When I graduated from high school last year, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, so I decided to find myself a job and work for a while until I figured out which path to take. It took me a while to find a job and when I finally found one it was in retail. I discovered within the first month that I didn’t enjoy selling clothes as much as I thought I did. When the owner of a video game store offered me a job with better hours, better pay, and a chance to advance, I took it.

When I first started, it seemed like a dream job. Not as much pressure to sell, a different target group, plus some office work which I particularly enjoyed. But from the very first day, I grew very uncomfortable with my employer. He was always watching me which creeped me out. But I kept at my job thinking that maybe this was just the way he was.

One day soon after I started, he asked me to stay until closing so he could show me how to close the store. It felt good knowing he trusted me with this information as I had just started. So after we locked up and counted the cash and done all the other closing type things, he just sat down and looked at me. I was very uncomfortable and I wanted to go home, but he started to talk to me and tell me that I was pretty and he wanted me to be his "secret friend" because he has no friends in the city. Then he shocked me by trying to hold my hand. I was so surprised and uncomfortable that I just sat there. He asked me questions about my relationship with my boyfriend and other personal issues I didn’t want to talk about before letting me go home. I knew something was wrong with what had just happened, but I was scared and ashamed and didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened.

Around the other employees, the boss was a really good guy. Everyone, including the customers, loved him. When other people were around us, he was completely normal, and a nice guy which makes it even harder to say all this. But anytime we were alone I was scared and unsure.

After a while, he started letting me have more responsibility around the store. He let me have a key, and I was in charge of opening and sometimes closing the store. I got more hours than anyone else did but more responsibility meant more time with the boss.

He started offering me gifts that I was to keep secret. Perfume, chocolates, and large sums of money were only some of the things I was offered. I never accepted them, which seemed to make him angry, but it felt so wrong to even consider taking these things that I just couldn’t. He kept telling me it would make him happy if I would take them. I felt so pressured and worn down, but I didn’t give in. That is one thing I am proud of. He always told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone about his offers.

One day when I was closing, the boss tried to kiss me on the cheek. I pulled away and told him I didn’t want anything like that. He got this angry look on his face and I was scared of him. He told me he was just trying to be nice to me. I felt like I had let him down somehow, but I know I had a right to do what I did.

Just a few days ago, I confronted him and told him I didn’t like what was going on. He told me he didn’t know what I was talking about and he was just trying to be my friend and get me to open up more with the customers (seeing as how I am pretty shy). He asked me why he would pick me seeing as how I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. He said he would never try anything because he is a respected, married man. He tried to tell me nothing was going on. I thought I was crazy until I talked to two of my friends who let me know I was being sexually harassed at work.

I didn’t tell anyone what has been going on until a few days later when I wrote an email to one of the people I look up to most asking for advice. Slowly I began telling my friends and family. I was, and still am afraid that some people wouldn’t believe me, especially if they knew my boss, but I knew it had to be done. I quit my job on January 15, 2000.

People ask me how all this makes me feel. I feel ashamed because I still don’t quite believe that it isn’t my fault. I feel ashamed that I didn’t tell my family and friends sooner. I should have told my family as soon as it started happening. I’m afraid because I feel like nobody will believe me. I am angry because my boss did this to me. I feel like he stole something from me that I can’t ever get back. But I also feel strong because I know God gave me the strength to quit and to tell people what was going on. I feel loved because all of my family and close friends are sticking by me so much and helping me through this.

People ask me why I didn’t tell anyone sooner. Well, it is because he made me feel as if it was my fault. I thought if I just left it alone, it would end. I actually LIKED the job besides the boss.