It is said that we form an opinion about someone within the first few seconds of meeting them. We look at people and instantly decide if they are nerds, geeks, gay, straight, pretty, too fat, too skinny, ugly, repulsive, smart, intimidating, dangerous, arrogant, shy, or handsome.

What do see when we look at ourselves in the mirror? Don’t we pick apart, criticize and judge every feature that we don’t think is quite good enough? But yet when we look at a sunset we don’t say: “Oh I think that there should be a little bit more orange in the lower left hand corner, or it should have a little brighter yellow on the top.”  We look at rocks and just appreciate their simple beauty and uniqueness.  We admire the breathtaking beauty of the flowers but we have a hard time, many times, looking at each other, ourselves or the wounded, the hurting and the deformed with the same awe.

Some of us are repulsed by people with deformities and oddities. Look here at the pictures of these people Do we see the pain in their eyes and sympathize with their wounded ness or just think what a weirdo, what a loser! Some exclaim that all they are is just a piece of worthless humanity! Trash! Write them off!

Do we try to look within their hearts and see them as a child of God? Maybe they are lost child of God who needs so bad to hear the Good News.

We deeply long for others to value us, even when we don’t know how to value ourselves.  We want others to think we are beautiful even when we don’t feel beautiful.  We put on a tough exterior and build walls around us that only the selected few may come into.  Sometimes our walls are so high and deep that God Himself cannot seem to penetrate.

From childhood we absorb the comments about us “Your nose is too long, you will never amount to anything, she is a little slow, you aren’t as smart as your sister, you are a little devil, you act just like your dad, look at those horrible freckles! We absorb them and give them ownership. We let them cripple us and they handicap us from being all what God wants us to be. We apply make up to cover what we can, and if that isn’t good enough there is:

·  Facelift / Neck lift / Endoscopic Brow lift

·  Rhinoplasty

·  Upper and lower blepharoplasty

·  Lip enhancement / reduction

·  Neck Muscle surgery to improve contour

·  Liposuction/Liposculpture to improve jaw neckline

·  Jaw Surgery

·  Treatment of furrows and wrinkles

·  Collagen implant surgery

·  Customized Implant Surgery

·  Erbium YAG skin resurfacing

·  Scar revision

·  Cosmetic excision / laser treatment of skin lesions and birthmarks

·  Cosmetic Dentistry / Orthodontics

·  Breast implants

·  Wigs, hair-pieces etc.

The above cosmetic treatments may well be a “feel good” solution, to those with a serious condition called: BDD; Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

BDD is a preoccupation with an imagined physical defect in appearance or a vastly exaggerated concern about a minimal defect. The preoccupation must cause significant impairment in the individual’s life. The individual thinks about his or her defect for at least an hour per day.  

The individual’s obsessive concern most often is concerned with facial features, hair or odor. The disorder often begins in adolescence, becomes chronic and leads to a great deal of internal suffering. 

The person may fear ridicule in social situations, and may consult many dermatologists or plastic surgeons and undergo painful or risky procedures to try to change the perceived defect. The medical procedures rarely produce relief. Indeed they often lead to a worsening of symptoms. BDD may limit friendships. Obsessive ruminations about appearance may make it difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. 

Other behaviors that may be associated with BDD

Frequent glancing in reflective surfaces

Skin picking

Avoiding mirrors

Repeatedly measuring or palpating the defect

Repeated requests for reassurance about the defect.

Elaborate grooming rituals.

Camouflaging some aspect of one’s appearance with one’s hand, a hat, or makeup.

Repeated touching of the defect

Avoiding social situations where the defect might be seen by others.

Anxiety when /with other people.

BDD tends to be chronic and can lead to social isolation, school dropout major depression, unnecessary surgery and even suicide.  

It is often associated with social phobia and OCD, and delusional disorder. Chronic BDD can lead to major depressive disorder. If it is associated with delusions, it is reclassified as Delusional disorder, somatic subtype. Bromosis (excessive concerns about body odor) or Parasitosis (concern that one is infested by parasites) can classically be associated with delusions. 

Milder body image disturbances that do not meet criteria for BDD. :

Benign dissatisfaction with one’s looks. This does not affect the person’s quality of life. 30-40% of Americans may have these feelings. 

Moderate disturbance with one’s body image. The person’s concerns about appearance cause some intermittent anxiety or depression.

One of the best treatments for this is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Cognitive behavior therapy combines two very effective kinds of psychotherapy — cognitive therapy and behavior therapy.

Behavior therapy helps you weaken the connections between troublesome situations and your habitual reactions to them. Reactions such as fear, depression or rage, and self-defeating or self-damaging behavior. It also teaches you how to calm your mind and body, so you can feel better, think more clearly, and make better decisions.

Cognitive therapy teaches you how certain thinking patterns (cognitive distortions) are causing your symptoms — by giving you a distorted picture of what's going on in your life, and making you feel anxious, depressed or angry for no good reason, or provoking you into ill-chosen actions.

When combined into CBT, behavior therapy and cognitive therapy provide you with very powerful tools for stopping your symptoms and getting your life on a more satisfying track.

A Life Changing Belief

One of the most important Positive Cognitive Beliefs that we can cling to is: that God loves us with an everlasting, powerful, life changing love!  We can through rational cognitive thinking, believe that!  The devil has told us lies from the beginning of sin that we are not good enough, never will be good enough for God or it takes immense sacrifice to please God. So we try to work, flagellate, sacrifice etc to get into His graces. But Christ who is the spitting image of God the Father came to prove that was a “Cognitive Distortion.”  A big lie! When we incorporate that big lie of never good enough into our thinking, we will never feel or look good enough.  

The same God who creates the sunsets with magnificent color, custom designed you! There is no other person in this world like you. You are unique and one of a kind, a designer you. No one can take your place. You have a testimony that is solely yours! When the whole world seems against you God is rooting for you and says “Go Chris Go, Go Linda go, go John go, or should I say: come Mildred come! He says that He is always with you even to the worst case scenario! He says “come dance with me my daughter/son for you are beautiful to me!”

The dance He asks us on is the dance of life.  When I was a youth growing up in North Dakota we would have community dances every month. People came for hundreds of miles to attend these dances. We girls would sit on the chairs that were lined against the walls and wait for Prince Charming to come and ask us to dance.  More often than not it would be Prince Charmin’s homely twin. If that was the case we would dance once and excuse ourselves to the bathroom and hope they gave up while waiting a half hour or so for us to get out.  Of course we weren’t looking at the good attributes of these seeking males just the outside features.  So we unfortunately contributed to many a males cognitive distortions about themselves, I am sure.

Many times fathers will dance with their little girls by placing their little feet upon his, and hand in hand they move in time to the music.  Father God wants us to put our feet on His, to hang on to His hand and He will guide us through the dance of life.  When we are hurting from childhood pain, adult mistakes, bodily affliction, irrational beliefs about us and diseases he asks us to hold on to Him and never let go.  It is only when we let go and start dancing by ourselves that we get into trouble.

He asks us or rather commands us as believers to help others to know Him as the mighty Prince who loves each one of us.  We are to help others to hang on to the hand of God, to direct them to His feet; the feet of Jesus!

But we cannot do this unless we look at each person around us as valuable, as a created being, marred from sin, but made in the image of God

You see God so truly loves us! As Cherie Peters says: “God is Crazy about you! God says: “I know your heartaches and your trails and I bid you come walk with me and I will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I have counted the numbers of tears you have shed in your life, I know them all. I know when you rise and when you sleep, I know exactly what you are going to say before the word is on your tongue. You cannot hide from me as I know where you are at all times. I knew you when you were made in your mother’s womb. I know exactly how many hairs you have on your head. Nothing that happens to you escapes me. Thus knowing that and believing what I told you, now go tell your sister the good news. That those with AIDS may rejoice in me, that the prostitutes may repent and rejoice in me, that the bar owner may rejoice in me, that your neighbor will rejoice in me.” 

You see heaven is waiting and watching to see what we do with the Good News! We cannot hide it under a bushel “no!” The healed demoniacs never had any evangelistic training but they knew what Jesus had did for them and they converted a whole Countryside. Like the woman at the well when Christ is in your heart we have something exciting to share. We can’t be silent

First we need to see each other through the eyes of God. I dare you to look at the inside. We can’t see the beauty sometimes until we try to see the inside. Just like this rock, which is plain on the outside but on the inside it is beautiful. Look inside your heart and believe that you have great value. The God who created all things says you are valuable enough to leave heaven and die for. Those that are worthless in the eyes of man are deemed valuable by the Son of God.

Have any of you ever gotten a love letter from someone? Did you know that Father God has written us a love letter? God loved you enough; that before you were even born He wrote this to you! Here is a love letter you will never forget. A love letter from your Dad Father God!

This Is His Love Letter To You!  He loves You With a Forever Love!

My Child,

   You may not know me, but I know everything about you*Psalm 139:1 I know when you sit down and when you rise up*Psalm 139:2 I am familiar with all your ways *Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered*Matthew 10:29-31 For you were made in my image*Genesis 1:27 In me you live and move and have your being*Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring*Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived*Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation*Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake*Psalm 139:15-16 For all your days are written in my book*Psalm 139:15-16 I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live*Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made*Psalm 139:14 I knit you together in your mother*s womb*Psalm 139:13 And brought you forth on the day you were born*Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don*t know me*John 8:41-44 I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love*1 John 4:16 And it is my desire to lavish my love on you..1 John 3:1 Simply because you are my child and I am your Father*1 John 3:1 I offer you more than your earthly father ever could*Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect Father*Matthew 5:48 Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand*James 1:17 For I am your provider and I meet all your needs*Matthew 6:31-33 My plan for your future has always been filled with hope*Jeremiah 29:11 Because I love you with an everlasting love*Jeremiah 31:3 My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore*Psalm 139:17-18 And I rejoice over you with singing*Zephaniah 3:17 I will never stop doing good to you*Jeremiah 32:40 For you are my treasured possession*Exodus 19:5 I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul*Jeremiah 32:41 And I want to show you great and marvelous things*Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me*Deuteronomy 4:29 Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart *Psalm 37:4 For it is I who gave you those desires*Philippians 2:13 I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine*Ephesians 3:20 For I am your greatest encourager*2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles*2 Corinthians 1:3-4 When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you*Psalm 34:18 As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart*Isaiah 40:11 One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes*Revelation 21:3-4 And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth*Revelation 21:4 I am your Father and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus*John 17:23 For in Jesus my love for you is revealed *John 17:26 He is the exact representation of my being*Hebrews 1:3 And He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you*Romans 8:31 And to tell you that I am not counting your sins*2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled*2 Corinthians 5:18-19 His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you*1 John 4:10 I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love*Romans 8:32 If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me*1 John 2:23 And nothing will ever separate you from my love again*Romans 8:38-39 Come home and I*ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen*Luke 15:7 I have always been Father and will always be Father*Ephesians 3:14-15 My question is...Will you be my child?*John 1:12-13 I am waiting for you*Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad   Almighty God   Father Heart Communications Copyright 1999 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

Karen Fettig
hopeministry@tctwest.net
Never forget that Jesus thinks you are awesome!