Children At Risk!
by Peggy Harris W.A.S.H. Board Chair

Sexual abuse is not an easy subject to discuss. It is, however, one that needs to be opened, one that you need to know about and a subject that you should be concerned about. The following situations all occurred in Seventh-day Adventist settings.

Situation 1

A church considered giving a position to a convicted pedophile. This individual is the subject of a book written about him and the 40 some victims of his abuse, including his own children and grandchildren.

His problem with sexual abuse goes back to his teen years. Upon completion of his college degree he taught in SDA schools. Some incidents of sexual abuse happened and he was told that if he would leave the state the local conference would not press charges!

If he had been dealt with at the time, it would have saved the other 40 some victims he abused later on. He could have gotten some help for himself. In those days nobody wanted to deal with this unspeakable problem in the church, so it was easier to pass it along and this is what usually has happened.

Some of the victims are somewhat equally divided on this particular situation -- some for his position and some against it. It is unknown how many of the victims were asked about it (since many had moved away from that particular church). His own son has not been asked for his opinion.

Update: As a result of several contacts from W.A.S.H. Board members to the pastor of the church there has been scheduled education for the church members on how to deal with abuse victims and abusers.

Situation 2

One church with a convicted pedophile did the following:
    1. The whole church was made aware of the man's problem.
    2. A deacon or other adult always accompanied the man any place in church.
    3. He was told to sit on the front pew rather than the back pew where he usually sat.
    4. The man was not supposed to touch or hold a child.
    5. If he broke any of these rules he would be kindly but firmly reminded immediately by parents or others that he cannot do this. Unfortunately parents would usually fail to do this.

He did not like to comply with this and stopped attending this church. When he began attending
another non-SDA Church in the area, the SDA pastor called and advised the other church's pastor of the man's situation. The pedophile then stopped attending that church.

Situation 3

A young male principal became involved in sexual abuse with a teenage student from his eighth grade class. The girl came from a troubled home and had been sexually abused by her own father. After a period of time when the abuse became known, he resigned his position. He then went to work for several years in a SDA home for troubled teens! Later he became a teacher in another conference. Finally after several more years he was promoted to the educational department of that conference. As far as anyone knew there were no other instances of sexual abuse. He did have some counselling and has been recommended to have further counselling. This counselling should be at his expense. counselling for the victim and the perpetrator should always be at the expense of the perpetrator.

Even with the knowledge that if something arose in the future, and knowing that there would be no insurance coverage, the conference decided to take the risk of keeping this individual in this position. After all it had been a number of years, he was sorry, had confessed and was full of remorse, and as far as they knew there have been no other victims. If they fired him, he would lose his career as probably no public school would hire him. One wonders how he will handle a similar situation if it ever arises in the teachers he will supervise.

Unfortunately, the victim's life is forever altered. The message given to young people is that the perpetrator must be spared at the risk of loss to other people and the conference.

Update: As a result of various contacts from W.A.S.H., relatives of the victim and others the man was severed from conference employment.

Situation 4

A minister became involved in sexual abuse with a young girl who was the age of his own son. As soon as this became known, he was relieved of his pastoral position, his credentials taken away and told he could never be a pastor again. Because of his remorse, (this was the only sexual abuse he did) he was helped into another position apart from church employment. His family stood by him and he has made a successful life.

What does this say to our young people? It is not right to be a pastor and do sexual abuse but it's O.K. when you are a teacher and do it to students? Do we place a different standard on a church than on a school? One man is fired, the other promoted!!! Indeed, this is astonishing!!

Situation 5

A church member served as Pathfinder Leader for many years. It finally became known that he was involved in sexual abuse with children when charges were brought by parents of a victim. They later dropped the charges when they found out all that their daughter would have to go through. He immediately was removed from the position. When a transfer of his membership was requested to another church the pastor of that church was apprised of the situation. Nevertheless he was accepted and has since become involved with children in his new church.

Parents must decide what is best for their child. The child should also be part of the decision. Sometimes a parent is afraid the child will not be able to stand up to a court trial. The child is the one who will have to live with it the rest of their life. It takes great courage for a young person of any age to go forward with charges. It is usually their word against a so called pillar of the church, school, and community. Sometimes it is successful and sometimes it is not. Whether it is or not, it can help bring closure for the victim. If successful, it can prevent others from becoming victims and force the perpetrator to get some help.

Situation 6

A church member was convicted and served time for the sexual abuse of two children. When this was learned, the church board voted to disfellowship him after his conviction. He went to another SDA Church and joined that church on profession of faith even though the pastor was told of his past.

Situation 7

A talented denominational employee lost his job when it became known that he had had a long time affair and had a child out of wedlock. He was remorseful and was given a church to pastor. He is now used as an example for other pastors as a success in his church and does seminars for pastors.

While it is possible that this man has truly felt sorrow for his conduct, the message given to other pastors and especially to young people is that when you make a mistake all you have to say is that you're sorry and you can go on with your career. There was no accountability in this situation.

AFTERTHOUGHTS

A minister was fired because he divided his tithe between his local church and the conference. Does this mean that it is more acceptable to be involved in sexual misconduct than not paying tithe through regular channels? Our priorities get really confused sometimes! Then we wonder why youth leave the church.

Commercial liability insurance policies usually have an endorsement or a clause that excludes coverage for an employee being hired that has a previous history of sexual misconduct. This may also extend to volunteers. That means that there is no coverage (absolutely none) for the school, church, conference or union. If there is an award it would come out of the assets of the school, church, conference union, etc.

There seems to be little understanding of the concept of forgiveness and accountability in all of this. There is a great need for education of churches and schools on how forgiveness is administered but the individuals are still held accountable for their actions. Forgiveness does not mean the absence of consequences or further caution on the part of the school or church. It does not dilute the importance of continued vigilance -- especially where innocent children are concerned.

It is a slap in the face for victims to see a perpetrator in church doing special music, running the PA system, doing the tape ministry, being the maintenance person or other duties. A perpetrator should be disfellowshipped. A perpetrator may be rebaptized, may be in counselling and therapy (which takes years) but they should never be put in a position where they have contact with children. They should not be allowed a position of visibility that a child would look up to.

Moses committed a sin (self-exaltation that misrepresented God). God forgave him but he was not allowed to lead Israel (and go with them) into the land of Canaan.

When an action like this (putting a perpetrator in a position in church) takes place, it tells a child or victim that the church or school (and therefore all adults) approve of what that person has done, and therefore God approves. This leads to further distancing of that child from adults, the church, the school and especially from God. It leads to the conclusion that God condones the behavior of the perpetrator and therefore God cannot be trusted.

Pedophiles are usually eager to help children, are the most winsome, are so nice and kindhearted, yet they are a very manipulative kind of person. It is very hard for others to come to believe that this person, so trusted, could do such terrible things to their children. At times they will even take the word of the pedophile over the word of their own children!

When we harbor this behavior, it is no wonder that a church or a school can wither away and die for lack of God's blessing. Neither a church, school, nor a pastor or principal can be successful and receive the outpouring of the Holy Spirit when sinful behavior is tolerated. How much we need to recognize our need of God, repent, and be a Godly example to our children. We need to recognize how much this tolerance limits the work of the Holy Spirit. We need to ask forgiveness of those that have been harmed by sexual misconduct in our church circles and show them by our actions that we do not approve of such behavior.

It has been said to women - "Can't you be a little more forgiving?" when there has been sexual misconduct. Forgive and forget is very prevalent. Men who commit sexual misconduct or harassment go on their way to other places, receive promotions with little or no censure. The victims are left to sort out their relationship to church, school and God. This must change.

God can forgive any sin - if we will but ask Him. But there are still consequences. The person who smokes and gets lung cancer may still die even though they are sorry that they ever smoked!

In most of these cases the school or church should have had guidelines or procedures set in place for background checks of those who would have contact with children and youth. Guidelines will not be effective if they are not carefully followed. There are some who may think that because a predator has only preyed on grown women that it could never happen to a teenager or child. There is evidence that if the predator cannot get their preference they will resort to younger, more vulnerable age groups to get satisfaction for their sexual perversions.

Where does change start? It must start everywhere. Education in church school, academy, college, and university needs to prepare children and youth as well as future pastors, teachers and church workers. Attitudes in present administration can change also with education. There is a wealth of material and resources to help church management begin now to prevent further harm to victims and our church by abuse or harassment.

There needs to be careful counselling of victims by reputable counselors trained for the type of abuse the victim has experienced. There are specialists in this field just as there are in other medical fields. False accusations are rare. The use of drugs, hypnosis, or suggestion to elicit memory are not appropriate methods of treatment.

Sexual misconduct affects all of society, it debilitates men, women, children and the church. The guidelines recommended by the North American Division Sexual Ethics Commission can begin to prevent this abuse and harassment in our churches, schools and institutions, if they are followed. Many people have left our church because nothing was done to stop abusive behavior or the perpetrators were allowed to go without punishment. Many would be interested in coming back if we are dealing with sexual abuse in a positive way. We can then be more confident that no more children will be harmed. Not one more!!

This page last updated on Sunday January 29, 2006 11:23 AM

Disclaimer: We are not a counselling service.  We prepare materials to help church
members and church leaders better understand the problems abuse brings and prevention methods.

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