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My To Do List Does Me In

By Sandra Doran

This Q and A originally appeared in Sandra Doran's monthly column,
Heart of the Matter, Signs of the Times Magazine, July 2001.

Q: I often have a hard time deciding between what is good and what is best. There are so many demands for my time and energy, and I am only one person. How do you keep all the balls in the air, meet the needs of those around you, follow God’s leading in your life, and keep your sanity?

A: Wow! What a question! I am getting tired just thinking about it. Most people that I know lead lives with little room for added details. A single mother of three children sent me these words describing a typical day:

"I get up at 5:00 a.m., let the dog out, pick up any dishes, start the dishwasher, pick up a couple things around the house, let the dog in. Then I start the wash, fluff what’s in the dryer, get on the treadmill, watch the news, read yesterday’s mail, get off the treadmill, fold the laundry, move the washing to the dryer, put away a load of clothes. Attempt to wake the boys, read my devotional, try again to wake the boys, shower, finally shake the boys awake. Dress, fix my hair, check to see that the boys are dressed, fed, and lunches packed. Then I take them to school, work about 10 hours, and start the thing all over again."

Whew! Talk about making every moment count. This woman, like yourself, manages to keep her life together by working tasks together like tightly-fitted pieces in a complicated puzzle. Should any unforeseen problems arise—the sickness of a child, a malfunctioning car, dishwasher breakdown—the whole thing falls apart.

What do you do when your life threatens to consume you with the details? When the paperwork and laundry piles grow higher, the kids’ homework cries out for answers, the dog needs to be fed, the leaves raked?

Although there are no simple answers to life’s complications, I offer a few ideas borne out of my own frantic scramble to keep some semblance of order in the midst of a complicated schedule.

  1. Weigh the expectations which you and others place on your time in terms of the larger priorities you have set for your life.
  2. Find a quiet place and time to reflect on your daily race to get everything done. Ask yourself some hard questions. Are there any places that you can shave down expectations? Is there any piece—no matter how small—that you can cut out of your list of "Have Tos?"

  3. Look carefully at your support systems.
  4. Are there people who would be willing to relieve you of a responsibility? A neighbor, relative, church member who might ease the burden in some small way? Last night my niece left work in Boston, took a 30-minute train ride to my town and spent the entire evening preparing my teenage son for his algebra test. The worth of such a gift cannot be measured!

  5. Eat right. Sleep right.
  6. I cannot emphasize this enough. Food and rest. There’s no way around it. Without these two energizing essentials, it’s impossible to function at peak performance. Since I commute over an hour to my principal’s job, I make no apologies for sleeping on the couch in my office in the afternoon if I have a late-night meeting or eating a sandwich in a board meeting if it interrupts the supper hour. Without re-charging, batteries go dead.

  7. Put relationships first.
  8. Simply put, people are more important than things. An afternoon playing with a child takes priority over a clean house. Time with your husband or wife takes priority over working late to afford designer furniture.

  9. Take time for devotions.
  10. When you don’t have time to pray and read your Bible, something has to change. Just as God makes it easier for us to live on nine-tenths of our income when we tithe, He blesses our time when we offer the first-fruits to Him.

  11. Take care of the care-taker.
  12. Carve out a space--emotionally and physically—where you can feed your own soul. Everyone needs something to look forward to—some small pocket of joy that buoys them up and lightens the load. Writing, reading, walking, painting….give yourself permission for some small indulgence.

  13. Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. You will never do it all. Your value as a person and as a child of God does not depend on checking off every item on your "To Do" list. Do what you can. Give the rest to God.

Sandra Doran, Ed.D., presents more of her basic approach to life’s demands in her book Gathering, co-authored with her sister Dale Slongwhite.

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PowerLines Sandra Finley Doran, Ed.D., PowerLines
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