Q: I recently purchased a computer so that my 13-year-old son can have an advantage in doing his homework. I feel at a bit of a loss since I know nothing about computers myself. Do you think that this is a healthy situation? A: It is interesting that you should ask such a question. I suspect that you are worried about the types of things that your son can encounter while using the Internet. In addition, the whole concept of a child reversing roles with a parent and becoming the "teacher" may be a bit unsettling to you. This is the first generation faced with such a dilemma. Suddenly, many children are more knowledgeable than their parents in navigating a system that has become a crucial part of survival in society. Your current state of uneasiness is a good thing. It tells me that you are not a laissez-faire type of parent. You want to be in-the-know when it comes to your son and his activities. And well you should. The bad news is that your son is now just one click away from web-sites devoted to pornography, violence, and hate. While his intentions may be good, it will not be hard for him to "fall into" a trap set up by a promoter whose only goal is profit—lots of it, as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, pornographers are among the few people on the Internet who earn money every time their page is "hit." For this reason, they have designed their pages to pull in as many people as possible—not only through the obvious tantalizing headline "teases," but also by connecting to what appear to be legitimate avenues for searching out information. A recent NASA project making headline news was used as a "cover" by pornographers to draw people into their site. Each time people typed the innocuous NASA phrase into the computer, they were assaulted by pornographic images. The promoters of the site, wanting to generate as much business as possible, had taken the popular NASA phrase and typed it repeatedly down the page, superimposing their images over it. Search engines, looking for the "key phrase," quickly called up the site, landing thousands of innocent people right where the pornographers wanted them. What steps should you take to prevent this from happening to your son? How can you develop a deeper knowledge base about computer issues? Purchase software which will block violence and sexual material from your son’s computer. Programs such as "Net Nanny" will screen out most inappropriate sites. Have an "open door" policy when your son is on-line. Let him know that you will feel free to enter his room at any time and talk to him about the information he is accessing. Take a course through your community or local college which will put you "in the know" about computers. You’ll want to learn "boolean logic," which will teach you the basics of "surfing the net," performing a search, and understanding the "lingo." Learn how to check your son’s "history." Once you understand how to do this, you can periodically review what sites he has visited. Identify some constructive sites that will interest your son. If he is into BMX biking, roller-blading, guitar-playing, then find some good sites that will help him move forward in understanding his hobby and building his skills. Direct your son to on-line sources of help for doing his schoolwork. You might try www.studyweb.com or libby.rbls.lib.il.us/dpl/linksto.htm. Check these sites out first to see if they seem to be a good match.. The main thing is to stay one step ahead of your child in the fast-paced world of computers. If you are a single parent and there is no other adult in the home who is able to monitor the computer, it is up to you not only to find ways to prevent inappropriate use, but to establish a clear presence as a leader in the household. While you do not want to communicate the idea that you do not trust your son, you want to unequivocally send the message that you are an "in-the-know," "can’t be fooled," "with-it mom," who has entered the new millennium. Sandra Doran, Ed.D., her pastor-husband, and two teenaged-sons, are a computer networked family.

Sandra Finley Doran, Ed.D. 2028 Bluff Oak St. Apopka, FL 32712-3945 (407) 889-5524 email powerlines@juno.com

Copyright © 2001..2003 by PowerLines, All rights reserved.