The Christian Man

	Opening Hymn  469

	RR 827

	Closing Hymn 468





	I have noticed something about this planet that we live on. 
You have probably noted the same thing.   That peculiar little
thing that I have noted is that the population of the world is
divided into roughly two categories: and you will never guess
what those might be. I'm not talking about rich and poor. I'm
not talking about young and old.  Anyone care to take  a wild
guess?

	If you're observant too,  you may have noticed, the 
population of the earth is made up of male and female, man and 
woman, boy and girl. Not only the human population, but also 
the animal world.

     Now, as one might expect this creates a lot of discussion,
and is the inspiration for poetry, the instigation of strife,
the infatuation of youth, and causes insomnia for the broken
hearted.

	With that enlightening little background into the situation, 
I want to plunge on into the wonderful world of human
relationships.

	Today, we see the result of an attack on true fatherhood. 
For years the devices, that so many men indulge in, have been around
to cloud their intellect and weaken their judgment.  Today
another kind of an effort is being pushed that denies that the
roles of father and mother are and should be separate, and that
children should be acquainted with the true essence of those
roles.

         For instance, the television Father, Behold that man,
if you can find him. When he does appear, he is usually
portrayed as a simple-minded clown that is  inept and unable to
perform even the smallest chores. His  highest achievement is 
often the ability to trick the woman in his life into making
peace with him. Or on the other hand, he is shown as the
high-rolling type that may happen to be the sire of children but
the father of none, who has abandoned them to a super-woman, 
who manages to raise the children, be seductive, smart, and a
super career woman.

	In print, you hear about the father that abandons the 
children, abuses his children, ignores his children. You find manhood
being condemned. It seems that there is an effort to make the
male of the species feel inferior. All of this all has created a
male that is frustrated, that is brought up not knowing any
stable values, any fixed points, any anchor to hold on to.      
       The successful male, the world tells us, works hard,
plays hard, loves numerous women, drinks without getting drunk,
smokes without getting ill, defies the law when he can get by
with it, and never settles down. As a result well over 20% of
American babies are now born are born without legitimate
fathers.  That's at least 460,000 kids without fathers added to
the population of the United States each year, right from the
beginning missing out on a father's name, his caring and love,
his financial and emotional support, his guidance and teaching, 
and maybe most important a father's example of what a man
should be.  Besides the missing fathers are the absentee
fathers, whose involvement outside the home shuts out wife and
children. 

	A gentleman named Derrick Prince observed that many of the 
woes and ills of the country result from what he called renegade
males.  He defines a renegade male as one that reneges on his
home responsibilities:.  Leadership in the form of financial 
integrity, not allowing the family to spend more than they  can
afford,  not getting into credit problems. Leadership in the
form of authority: taking the primary role, not the only role,
in disciplining the children, a role supported by the Bible.
Leadership in spiritual matters, such as praying with the
children at night, getting them to church.  Leadership in terms
of the relationship with the wife. It is the responsibility of
the husband to love the wife even as Christ  loved the church to
the point of being willing to give his life for her. More than
we realize, fellows, the way that we treat our wives has a
tremendous effect on the children and how they will grow up
relating to the opposite sex .

       	WHAT'S A HUSBAND AND FATHER TO DO? 

	Marriage: there's nothing like it. If you have a good
one--there's nothing like it. And if you have a bad one-there's
nothing like it. It can be a harbor in the storm of life--or a
storm in the harbor of life. It can be the beginning of a joyous
future--or the ending of happiness. And nothing is so filled
with the potential of delight or possibility of sorrow than
being married and becoming a parent. Both challenge our mind,
humble our heart, and inspire our creativity. 

	Each individual and every home is different, yet the Word of
God gives us the basic principles necessary to enrich our homes,
elevate us closer to heaven, and secure us in the bonds of love.
We turn to the most concise and comprehensive family advice in
Scripture: Ephesians 5 & 6...... 

	What is a husband and father to do? What is Heaven's counsel 
to us? How can we feel satisfied? What is our function in the home?
Somewhere amid our personality, social pressures, and the needs
of our wife and children, the Word of God applies. Fulfillment
comes as you live these sacred principles. 

	1. LOVE YOUR WIFE (vs. 25.....) 
	A wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to
Christ--AND the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the
church. Now who has the easier job? Was it not harder for Christ
to die for us than it is for us to live for Him? His love paid
the bigger price--and a husband's love is to be this self
sacrificial. And which comes first--love or submission? We are
willing to submit to Christ, because "He first loved us." so the
husband's love comes first to inspire the wife's submission. 

	There is a mistake some men make in interpreting this text 
to justify their authoritative rule in the home (vs. 23). But
notice that the verse is speaking to the wife, and not the
husband. Notice also, that the text says nothing about the
husband ruling over his wife, or that it's the husbands place to
make the wife submit--he's supposed to LOVE HIS WIFE. 

	The purpose of the head is to protect the body--keep the 
body out of trouble-care for the body--to give guidance. The
authority is to be exercised like Christ used His authority over
the church--by love. He that would be great becomes the servant
of all. 

	2. HONOR YOUR WIFE (vs. 28.....) 

	1 Peter 3:7 (NASB) "Live with your wife in an understanding
way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman: and grant
her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your
prayers may not be hindered." 

	The Greek translated "live" suggests being "at home with."
Women naturally desire you to "be at home" with them--to be
comfortable with them--to talk with them--to share feelings--to
listen to their needs and opinions. They want to be noticed and
appreciated. 

	On their honeymoon, a groom took his bride by the hand and
said, "Now that we're married, dear, I hope you won't mind if I
mention a few little defects that I've noticed about you." 

	"Not at all," the bride replied with an unusual sweetness. 
"It was those little defects that kept me from getting a better
husband." 

	Honor your wife as a fellow Christian-with common courtesies.
Honor her as one for whom Christ died. Is it your constant
determination to honor your wife? Are you sensitive to her-are
you there to help her--do you encourage her and support her?

	3. CHERISH YOUR WIFE (vs. 31.....) 

	The meaning of the word "husband" comes from the words
"house-band"--a band that reaches around the house to protect it
from danger--to hold things together. Husbands are to provide
for the financial, social, and spiritual needs of their
household. Who holds things together in your home? 

	There is also a confusion of our culture that would convince 
us to provide a living for our family as a substitute for sharing a
life with our family. Does providing them with things actually
count for expressing our love?  Is this how to cherish them? We
are to love people and use things--not love things and use
people. Yet many a man tries to manipulate his family with
giving them things -- to get their love, to win their favor, to
apologize for not giving of himself. 

	Is it possible to be so busy trying to give our families what
we didn't have, that we fail to give them what we did have--love
and time? Live poor if you must-but be a husband and father to
those you cherish. 

	Do you  cherish your wife as the most important person in your
life? Tell her. 	

	Find out what makes your wife happy-what disappoints her, helps
her, motivates her, excites her. Live to fill her life with joy,
and she will fill yours with the same. Do yourself a
favor--CHERISH YOUR WIFE! 

	4. BE JOINED TO YOUR WIFE 

	Near the end of the football season, one wife, at the peak 
of her frustration level, stomped into the living room and turned
off the TV that had captivated her husband all Fall. "I want to
know," she said with a degree of finality, "which do you love
most, me or football?" The husband was momentarily shocked into
silence. Then he looked up after a time and answered, "I love
you more than hockey." 

	It's tragic humor, isn't it? Men seem to pride themselves 
in independence. One reason a woman's work is never done, is
because the man isn't doing enough. God knew man would have this
problem. 

	"But Wait--wasn't man created first as independent? And 
didn't his work come before home because he was given a job to do 
in naming all the animals--then the woman was made as man's
helper?" 

	Come back with me to the first moments of time (Gen 1,2) when
God's power and imagination combine to create this world. Day by
day listen as God looks on all He has made and declares, "It is
good." then sense the drama, when on the sixth day God says that
something is "not good." The structure of the Hebrew is
emphatic--"Not good is man's aloneness." 			
	Why? Because man is incomplete by himself. Yet before God 
remedies this aloneness, He gives Adam the opportunity to sense 
its awfulness. While naming the animals, Adam notices that they 
all come as a set--male and female. And finally, when the mating 
call goes out across all creation, and no one responds to Adam, 
this perfectly formed man feels his inadequacy--the isolation of 
aloneness--the deception of independence. 

	As the text reads, God has a solution: "I will make him a
helper suitable for him." The Hebrew conveys the idea of someone
who assists another to reach fulfillment--to come to the
rescue-literally, "to correspond to." The word has nothing to do
with superiority, because God Himself is called a helper to man 
throughout the Old Testament. 

	The two compliment each other as they are joined together. 
Husbands, JOIN YOURSELF TO YOUR WIFE--you need her. 

	5. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN (vs. 6:4.....) 

	How is a child going to learn how to communicate
effectively--how to raise children--how to be a good spouse--how
to be a committed Christian? They're going to learn it primarily
from you. These are caught as much as they are taught. 

	You're the example--they are the copy machines. What do you
want your children to be like? Do you want them restored in the
image of their Creator? Do you want them to have the mind of
Christ? How are you helping them to become all that God wants
them to be? What route are you taking to reach these goals? 

	Are you meandering indecisively through side-alleys, unsure 
of any objective? Are you floating along down the broad way like a
secularist who doesn't smoke, drink, or swear? Or are you
offering your child something better than the world offers--are
you qualitatively different--giving them the best? Have you
mapped out the straight way that leads to life everlasting? Are
you hoping your child can just make it in this world, or are you
making them fit, not only for this life, but for the life to
come? 

	Your children don't need (VCRs, designer clothes.....) they
need you as a father. You don't sacrifice time with them when
you're busy working to get them more things--you're sacrificing
them. When they're young, you may tire of them stepping on your
feet, but it's better than for them, as they get older, to step
on your heart. 

	Fathers, will you be the spiritual leader in your home? Will
you daily gather your family in prayer? Will you ask the Lord to
come into your hearts and into your home? Is it a place where
angels love to dwell? 

    A strong house-band is vital to the integrity of the family,
yet we see so little of true  husbanding around, 

	What is a husband?  He is a man who has tender affection for
the woman he is married to. He still helps her put her   coat on
after 10-20-40 years. He opens the door to show his respect. 
He is concerned with his wife 's health.  He is a man of pure
and decided principles,  He helps his wife in the home,
particularly if she has to work outside of the home. Even if she
doesn't she doesn't work outside of the home, she needs to have
a day off, too,  He shows an interest in spiritual  things. He
encourages his wife to develop the abilities that God gave her,
does what he can to make her life more cheerful. He holds her
hand when they walk.  He communicates openly and freely.  He
puts his arm around her in church, and pulls her to his side in
the car, If possible. He caters to some of those weird little
desires  that  she gets  from time to time as a  way of showing
affection,

      What is he not? First; he is not the absolute master of
the house,  He is not tyrannical morose, or dictatorial. He is 
not full of false pride and outrageous expectations from the
wife. He doesn't try to bend her personality, to be a
reinforcement of his,  He allows her  individuality, even
allowing her to believe some things different than he does.  He
doesn't treat the wife like a slave, he doesn't expect her to
hold a job and clean the house and feed the kids while he kicks
up, his feet and reads the paper or watches those beautiful
women on the tube...women that his wife could never measure up
to because she is so overworked and run down.

     But in the final analysis, we can do no better in talking
of the Christian father and husband than we find in the
scripture that we read earlier, Ephesians  5:25 & 32.  Eph 5:25
(NKJV)  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for her,

Eph 5:32 (NKJV)  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning
Christ and the church.

	And this is a great mystery, for as we mentioned before, Christ
came down to this earth and lived through trial and temptation
for over 30 years, that he might have a people who would rejoice
in his victories and claim his victory as theirs. 

	He ministered to the people, teaching and healing them that 
he might receive a church that had learned of Him and accepted the
healing for their sins.  He loved the church, that's us, so much
that he suffered the agony of gethsemane and the cruelty of the
cross that he might claim us as His people.  And he is now in
heaven where He is directing the salvage operation fore his
people.  Every one who will, will be saved.  And He is so
concerned with each of us that He would empty heaven for us if
it would make any difference in our choice for or against Him. 
And He's building houses up there,  Mansions in the Holy City
where we will honeymoon with Him for 1,000 years, and then, for
a wedding present He is going to give us a new earth, just like
the one that we always felt that it should be down deep inside,
but were unable to express.  And these are just the beginning of
His tender mercies.

	Yes, a great mystery.

	Today, fathers and husbands, I want to appeal to you, "Return
to your God and He will return to you."

	I invite you to come foreword with me today and make a
commitment by the grace of God you will bring your family to the
feet of the master as a true house-band.  Say to God, "Thank you
for the responsibility of bringing my children closer to you. 
Thank you for the privilege of loving and caring for my wife. 
Thank you for the gift of salvation.  

	If these are your desires today, please come down here with me
today and together let us rededicate ourselves to the service of
God in our homes.

















































FATHERS AND HUSBANDS



1.	In the passage in Ephesians (5:25..) the husband is
instructed to ___________his wife as Christ _______

the church.



2.	Eph 5:31 husband and wife are to be _______ together.  The
phrase ________ - _________ for husband suggests this
relationship.



3.	God did not create an help meet for Adam until he ____  __ 
______.  Gen 2:20



4.	Eph 6:4 instructs the fathers to ________  his children.



5.	Fathers are to be ___________ leaders.

	 and                    ___________ leaders.



6.	List some things a husband can do to honor and cherish his
wife. (you may want to share these ideas when you get home!!)











7.	The Bible refers to the relationship between marriage and His
concern for us as a _______  _________. Eph 5:32



  





FATHERS AND HUSBANDS



1.	In the passage in Ephesians (5:25..) the husband is
instructed to ___________his wife as Christ _______

the church.



2.	Eph 5:31 husband and wife are to be _______ together.  The
phrase ________ - _________ for husband suggests this
relationship.



3.	God did not create an help meet for Adam until he ____  __ 
______.  Gen 2:20



4.	Eph 6:4 instructs the fathers to ________  his children.



5.	Fathers are to be ___________ leaders.

	 and                    ___________ leaders.



6.	List some things a husband can do to honor and cherish his
wife. (you may want to share these ideas when you get home!!)











7.	The Bible refers to the relationship between marriage and His
concern for us as a _______  _________. Eph 5:32