Christian humor part 1

Visiting with a hospitalized church member I asked if I could offer a prayer.
They responded, "Sure preacher, I need the prayer and you need the practice."

Two little boys were walking home from St. Ignatius Roman Catholic School
when they passed Fr. Henry Smith from St. Mark's Episcopal Church. Billy
knew him and said "Good Afternoon, Father". After the priest had gone
on, little Johnny said to Billy, "He's not a Father, he's got a wife and
three kids".

Sam Jones was a Methodist preacher/evangelist in the Cartersville, Ga.,
area many, many years ago. (1920 or so I think) One day he was asked to
visit a member of the local Methodist church who did not have a honorable
reputation and had not been to church in years. Rev. Jones entered the
hospital room and the conversation supposedly went something like this:
"Oh Brother Jones, pray for my healing. If God will only heal me I'll
straighten up my life. I'll quit drinking and smoking and I'll get back to
church every Sunday. I'll start tithing and quit running around on my
wife... etc. etc. etc..."
At the conclusion of this patient's promises, Rev. Jones said nothing, took
the man's hand, kneeled at his bedside as was his custom and prayed:
"Lord you've heard Brother Brown's promises of what he'll do if you heal
him. If he means it, cure him. If he doesn't, kill him. Amen."
Sam Jones got up and walked out of the room without uttering another word!