Here are the qualities of a healthy, balanced relationship:
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I'll face my emptiness; you need not fill me up.
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I'll trust--and I'll tell you when I don't.
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I'll be there--you can count on me. I give you my word. I'll be as constant as I can be.
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I'll tell you if I'm leaving.
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I'll let you know my thoughts and feelings to the extent it is possible, remembering that honesty without sensitivity is brutality.
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I'll be vulnerable as often as I can.
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I'll disagree and I'll say (and stay) when I do.
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I'll comment on my reality and I'll speak aloud of it.
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I'll take consequences for what I say and do.
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I'll be receptive to giving and taking.
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I promise to respect your struggles and have compassion for yours as well as mine. I can make a safe place for both of us.
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I'll understand that my needs for intimacy may be different than yours.
From
Regeneration: Ministry with the Chemically Dependent, compiled and
written by Hal
Gates, J.D., p. 83, American Health and Temperance
Association, 1996.
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