Out of the Middle
- It only takes one parent to take a child out of the middle.
- Don't put energy into getting the other parent to stop.
- Don't respond to messages sent through your child; simply thank the child.
- Do not, directly or in-directly, put-down the other parent. Don't be a victim of the other parent's behavior. Do not put-down significant others of your ex-spouse.
- Don't tell a child emotionally-loaded secrets.
- Don't play siblings against one another.
- Discuss the child's event and plan for interacting ahead of time so the child can prepare. Make it clear that you can take care of yourself and your child does not need to take care of your feelings.
- Have both parents attend the child's event as long as all adults involved will behave themselves.
- Don't induce guilt in the child; tell him/her to enjoy the visit and reassure him/her that you will be fine.
- Avoid going back to court to do battle.
From The Divorce Center, New Orleans, Louisiana, U.S.A.
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