Martin's Millstone: How I Killed A Youth
Ministry
by A. Allan Martin
It started out so innocently. I had recently started graduate
school and was looking for employment as a youth minister. Working with
young people had always been a passion for me, and my graduate studies were
part of the plan to continue my education as a youth ministry professional.
For the experience and helpful additional income, I was looking for available
positions.
Christ has got all the connections. Within a month I found a church
interested in hiring a part-time youth minister. Their former youth pastor
had gone back to seminary and there was a definite void that needed to be
filled. I jumped at the chance and it really did seem providential that
this opening came about. Reviewing my resume' and thoroughly interviewing
me, the committee made up of parents, elders, and pastors gave me a good
look over (e.g. This was one of their first questions, "What are your
views on pre-marital sex?" They weren't fooling around; About this
interview that is...). Within a week they welcomed me as the new minister
for youth and young adults.
It all just happened so quickly. As soon as I said yes, I was thrown
instantly into the hub of church life. I will never forget the Sabbath they
introduced me to the youth and young adults. The young people were in the
middle of Sabbath School, 30 to 40 of them, youth and young adults energetically
playing a Bible game. Collegiate-age leaders were up front coaching, coaxing,
and cheering participants. The adult sponsors were seated in the back making
efforts to monitor and lure the "hallway crowd" into the action.
A young married couple got up ready to take a stab at teaching the lesson
when...
"I would like to introduce you to your new youth pastor," the
senior pastor cheerfully interrupted as he pushed me towards the front and
then skirted out of the classroom. I was at a loss. But dredging up some
of that good ol' youth ministry ad lib, I managed to briefly introduce myself
and let them get back to their regularly scheduled program. I have to admit,
once I sat down, I got really excited. All those youth and young adults
so actively involved thrilled me. I couldn't wait to jump in.
I met with the leaders, the core group. They were a mix of collegians
who had grown up in the ministry of the former youth pastor and had taken
over the reins of leadship since his departure. The former youth guy's move
was an abrupt and traumatic transition for them; I could sense their tentativeness
with my new face in the picture. The core group was anxious to trust, yet
reserved. We had a great time during those first getting-acquainted meetings,
and during that time I wanted to share with them my vision of youth and
young adult ministry. The core group seemed hesitant, but respectful of
my "expertise in ministry." I assured them that we would work
together to implement my model.
Of course my model was right (What an ego!). With over a decade of
youth & young adult ministry under my belt and the affirmation of the
latest ministry resources concurring with me, I felt confident that we needed
to make changes. We "needed" to move towards separating youth
from young adults. This would allow us to specifically address their needs
and issues, based on age/developmental stage. We would also start leadership
development training. We would initiate a whole bunch of things. The core
group thought that was all good and well, but they felt an urgency to plan
a retreat which they were trying to put together last minute.
I axed it. With understanding (yeah right! #@!*!) and a firm rationale,
I persuaded the core group to rethink their plans. I felt they needed to
make sure and give themselves time enough to plan the retreat right. As
it turned out, we never had the retreat. The timing never panned out and
I had other things that needed to get started in this new ministry.
I stepped right in. With the new model in place, the ministry was
growing by leaps and bounds. Youth and young adults began to actively participate
and feel as if they had a voice that could be heard. We started our own
youth church service and held a youth/young adult worship for the entire
congregation once a month. The model ministry was flying and I felt very
proud of the progress we were making. Accolades came from old and young
alike as the program grew exponentially.
But what about "them?" The core group was involved in the
progress, trying to keep up with my fresh ministry legs. But in my rush
to rebuild a ministry that was theirs, I had smothered some of their fire.
Since they were all students, I could really empathize with their gradual
tapering down of involvement. I was happy to rescue programs when they had
other obligations. I felt I was doing them a favor by being "superman
minister."
Pretty soon the core group was making other "involvement investments"
at school and in the mission field. Yet the youth and young adult ministry
kept on growing. With that growth came new leaders and core people. Somewhere
along the way, the original "core group" loss the sense that they
were needed and vital.
I admit it; I murdered a youth ministry. Believe me it was involuntary
ministry-slaughter, but none the less I phased out the active involvement
of enthusiastic young leaders to implant my model. The core group was an
invested set of volunteers willing to make mistakes, take risks, and lead
since there was no youth ministry professional. But now the "pro"
was here. Unintentionally, I robbed them of their sense of value and importance.
I trampled over their special place of involvement to do my model ministry.
They visit now and then, spectating mostly. Make no mistake, they are making
an impact leading in their particular niches at school and work. As for
our church, I murdered their ministry.
I've got to live with my millstone. Luke speaks plainly about harming
youth and young adults (Check out the amplified version, Luke 17:1,2). No
matter how much our youth and young adult ministry sparkles today, I still
am reminded of the "clearing out" I am responsible for. It wasn't
so much that I intentionally initiated a hostile takeover. I just honestly
thought that our church would benefit from my "expertise and know-how."
As a minister, an adult, and a fool, I fell into the same trap many adults
in the Adventist church seem to be caught in: "SINCE WE ARE OLDER,
OUR IDEAS ARE BETTER, AND THEREFORE WE ARE MORE IMPORTANT." As we adults
communicate this generational bigotry through our actions (verbally and
non-verbally) youth and young adults get the picture...clearly. Then they
leave. Or worse yet...They lose hope. They lose vision.
Do it; Did it; Done it. Too often I get caught up "doing"
ministry to youth instead of helping them realize that they are full-fledged,
commissioned, ordained ministers (2 Corinthians 5:11-21). Nurturing their
identity as Christ's liaisons should be my role. But no, no, no! Being a
typical adult, it has been easier for me to "minister" to
them, essentially using them to fuel my own sense of ministry prowess. And
before you heave my stone to the bottom of the Pacific, let's (us adults)
be honest. When one hears "youth and young adults" mentioned by
adults in today's pulpit, one can almost always count on the orator being
in the middle of some religious/political/fundraising appeal or pushing
some personal holy agenda.
This is a murderer's confession. I have seldom come to my teens asking
them their opinions and hearing out their visions for our ministry. I honestly
can't remember the last time our elders ever asked one of our high school
students their opinion on an important issue. Few of our church officers
do any mentoring. I don't ever recall, our pastoral staff "doing lunch"
with our collegians to get their input on our building project. Board members
don't consult with youth. Even more remote: I have yet to see our contemporary
church allow youth and young adults to lead in the same way our founding
fathers and mothers young people led this movement. Instead, we adults
do our studies about youth and young adult attrition and, still baffled,
watch them leave. We promise them portions of the pie but cling to the power
and the purse-strings. We moan about Generation X apathy and the exodus
of our youth, all the while neglecting to change our adult ways. (Okay now
you can throw my millstone overboard...)
But wait! No doubt I have done my share of good to youth and young
adults. But even if I helped bring a deluge of youth and young adults to
the kingdom, I am still better stuck at the bottom of the sea unless I change
my ways. Ministering TO youth and young adults leaves very little room to
minister WITH them, and I perpetuate the false adult assumption that they
are inferior, incapable or inadequate. For all my adult experience, my adult
maturity, my youth ministry ability...I am no better a swimmer with this
millstone hung around my neck. My ministry murder has caused harm, and Christ
says it's better from me to be plunged into the Pacific with millstone necklace
to give me speed.
I request the King's acquittal. Taking seriously His warning, I have
come to Him for forgiveness with a heart (and ministry) willing to change.
If anyone can, He can cut me some slack. Simply by Christ's grace am I forgiven.
And you know what? He even has enough left over grace to modify my ministry
to reflect His design.
In Christ's world, things are different. He picked fishermen not
Pharisees to lead His movement. He used a kid's lunch offering to overcome
the skeptical pragmatism of the disciples. He seemed to care less about
meeting with the adult leaders of His day and cared much more about hanging
out with the youth.
"Let them come to me." Just like He challenged the disciples,
I sense He is challenging me to let go a little. Okay, okay, a lot. Give
youth and young adults a chance to see their reflection in Christ's eyes.
Give them the room to flex their spiritual muscles and lead our church.
I need to listen to them sing His ordained praises from their lips. I need
to take notes. I need to learn from them. I need the innocent wisdom that
their young minds can share with me. I need them to balance my convention
with their creativity. I need them to lead my ministry. I need them to lead
our church.
Christ is asking you to change too. Far too many youth dreams and
young adult visions have died in bureaucracy cages designed and perpetuated
by adults. Too many adult leaders see youth and young adult programs as
"icing on the cake." Many adult administrators feel more comfortable
in the company of regulations than in the company of young people. Too little
effort is given to opening venues for adult-youth relationships and mentorship.
There are not enough youth and young adults on our church boards, in our
conference committees, at our union offices, and at our division and world
headquarters to adequately reflect even a crumb from the leadership pie.
Instead of field trips to the centers of leadership for our church, youth
should learn leadership by apprenticing and field experience. Instead of
kitchen cabinets to store youth and young adult opinions and concerns, we
need ministry cooking classes with young people holding the spatula. Christ
is asking all of us adults to let go a little. Okay, okay, to let go a lot.
But the great news is...
It's an exchange program. As we learn from them, no doubt they will
learn from us. Adult and young person alike will be benefited in the process.
Our role as mentor, elder, and sage can serve to nurture our energetic youth
and young adult leaders, innovators, and pioneers. And in the process of
it all, we, youth, young adult, and adult, will all become more like Christ.
I am all for becoming more like my youth and young adults. You see, Jesus
gave me this notion that if I become more like them, I can trade this millstone
in for the Kingdom. Not a bad trade in. Not a bad trade at all...
dream_VISION_ministries@CompuServe.com