|
|
|
|
|
Return
to Testimonials
This website is created and maintained by Megan Field
|
How I Became a Christian When I was little my dad had us going to a Jehovah Witness church and studying as a Jehovah Witness. I think that went on till I was about 9 or 10 years old....maybe a little older or younger. Anyway....my dad started asking a lot of questions that the church could not provide answers for. He felt that his family's salvation depended on those answers and since the church could not provide any he decided to pull us out. The problem is however, we ended up not going anywhere else either. I really had enjoyed my bible studies and church even at that time in my life. Many years passed. I cannot say I have lead a perfectly innocent life. While I do not regret any of my experiences (well maybe some) I guess even though some were very painful and just flat out WRONG.....looking back now I could tell I was struggling for answers myself. At about 22 years of age I attempted suicide by taking an overdose of pills. I had been out of a job and pretty depressed and stressed out. I had let my one sister move in with me in my apartment temporarily till she got on her own feet and also to help me out financially. My car had been repossessed (voluntarily...like that really makes any difference). I had no job. I was just on idle. I was dating a man old enough to be my father. He was 24 years older than me. To make a very long story short however....I guess I was so tired of everything I just decided one day I had had enough and it would be better (I thought) to go to sleep and just not ever wake up again and not have to ever worry about anything anymore. I left notes and took some pills and laid down on my sofa. THEN I decided I needed to go down and apologize to my neighbor lady whom I had bitten her head off a couple nights prior. WHILE there I realized I had perhaps done the WRONG thing and I had a change of heart. She called 911 and they sent out the ambulance but no one was licensed to give me that crap to make you puke...so another ambulance had to come out. Eventually I was given syrup of Ipecac or whatever it is and I was on my way to the hospital. I vomited a lot. Slept for many days and nights ...only being awakened to eat. I survived but will never forget the image of my mother standing at the end of those ambulance doors holding her purse and wringing her hands. I felt really bad for all the suffering I am sure I put her and my family through and even though I have since apologized I still feel bad. Anyway.....shoot forward in time to when I was about 29 or 30. Yes...I split from the 24 year older man relationship. I was now married to an alcoholic! I met this one in a bar...what COULD I have expected. You know the old song..."looking for love in all the wrong places". That pretty much summed up my life at that time and up till that time. I had affairs with married men and was just not right. I drank too much. Tried a few different drugs. Did a lot of things I should never have done. Thank the LORD I do not do ANY of those things now nor do I have any desire to!! ANYWAY..........I was married to this man and rethinking our relationship after 8 years. He was having an affair on me (yes..what goes around DOES come around!). I had started finding myself drawn to religious books, the Bible, Christian CDs, churches, etc. I could not seem to get enough. I also did not understand it. I gave my husband an ultimatum and 1 year to make up his mind what HE wanted to do. Meanwhile (he was a DJ and gone at night)...I was home one night and my 2 dogs and I were downstairs. It was about 4:00 a.m. and I woke up on the sofa realizing I needed to get my butt upstairs to bed to finish sleeping before I would need to get up for work. I got up and went upstairs WITH my dogs. I laid down...and then realized I was not going to be able to fall back to sleep. I felt a sense of unease. I felt someone was in the room. I could not understand if someone was up there why the dogs were not barking. INSIDE I started to kind of panic thinking all kinds of things. I looked around trying to figure out where this person could be. I looked over at my window and all of a sudden something dark seemed to come in right through that window but was just as fast gone and I did not see it in the room. I really freaked out now but was afraid to move. I began to think "holy crap am I having an alien abduction or something?" as since my dogs were not responding to anything and only I was...that was the ONLY explanation my brain could come up with at that time. I laid there and waited....I am not sure for what. BUT just that fast something DARK AND HUGE was sitting on my chest. Straddling me. My dogs were quiet. This was like a big black cloud or presence. I sensed EVIL and darkness. No other way to describe it. INTENSE evil. I could NOT BELIEVE this was happening to ME! I could not move anything but my eyes and my one hand. This "thing" was so big and heavy. I looked up and saw the most evil-looking eyes I have ever seen staring down at me. I about lost it then. The more I grew afraid the stronger this "evil presence" grew. The more it grew in strength the HEAVIER it got. I decided this could not be happening and could not possibly be real. I decided to place my hand out to see if I could "FEEL" this thing. I felt something hard across my chest.....so it was REAL and it was THERE! I became more afraid and more afraid and this thing got heavier and heavier. I suddenly realized I was going to die like that. ALL these thoughts began going through my mind. I realized if they did an autopsy it would just show heart failure because indeed that is exactly what would happen...my heart was failing because of the heaviness of this thing and the fear. I was slowly not being allowed to breathe!! I decided to CLOSE my eyes and not look at this thing anymore. I felt if I could keep my eyes closed maybe I would not be as afraid. AT that same time is when I also started to pray to God. EVEN I realized this was above and beyond what any mortal human being could handle on their own and I needed help if I was going to survive. I started to worry about all these petty things about what would happen to all my "stuff" and to my "dogs" if I were no longer alive. SO I basically prayed the sinner's prayer right then in bed. I asked God to forgive me of all my sins and told Him that I believed in Him and that I needed HIS help if I was going to survive. I could not do this alone. AGAIN very quickly I started to feel this overwhelming sense of peace come over me and my body and mind. I looked up. My ceiling opened up like a scroll rolling backwards and 2 (what looked like angels) held those scroll edges back. This intense bright light came into the room and I felt the most peace I have ever felt in my entire life! I suddenly KNEW I was in the presence of God. I just KNEW it and I felt so peaceful and no longer worried or cared about anything. I also did not care then IF I died because I KNEW where I WOULD BE GOING!! It was all "okay". I smiled. The more this light came into the room and the more peaceful I felt the stronger I felt and less afraid I felt. Suddenly this black thing on me grew lighter and lighter until it vaporized into the air above me. AND again just that fast (seconds it seemed like) the angels let go of the scrolled back ceiling and it all flew shut again. My bedroom was back to my bedroom. I COULD NOT BELIEVE what had just happened. I left my bedroom and did not sleep up there for a very long time! I also never told anyone about this experience for a very long time. The next thing that happened in my life was I was suddenly hooked up with Christian people and friends and a place to have a Bible study and prayer meetings. I became involved with a church. I finally told my cousin about my experience and she helped get me started going to church and studying the Bible. There were suddenly so many people placed in my path who helped me along my journey. I PUBLICLY professed my beliefs at an Easter dinner at church one year. I chose to be baptized in a local creek. I truly became a Christian. I truly believe GOD saved me that night for something. I guess now my job is to find out ALL I can be FOR HIM. I know some of the things I have done for HIM but I think there is a lot more I am to do!
|