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CONFESSIONS OF AN OVERACHIEVER By Jane A. Sirignano I KNEW I COULD DO IT. MY GRADE POINT averages throughout high school indicated that I would eventually attend a top-notch college. While attending one of the finest public high schools in the United States, I took advantage of many opportunities: I was a member of the girls’ basketball team, the swim team, and the synchronized swimming team. I took piano lessons and sang in both the select girls’ choir and in the renowned main choir. While all these extracurricular activities demanded time and intense, consistent practice, they didn’t detract from my academic priorities. Eager to Please When I had outgrown the bicycle I got for my tenth birthday, I saved money from babysitting to buy my first 10-speed bike. Bright red—it was a beauty! But I had it for only a few days before someone at school liked it as much as I did and stole it. There was only one thing to do: go back to work, save the money, and buy a new bike. I was a cheerful, energetic child. I enjoyed being a step ahead of my parents; seeing what needed to be done and doing it. Sometimes I made breakfast for my parents and served it to them in bed. Helping my mother with cooking, laundry, and dishes—all of this was part of my life. And I enjoyed it. I sewed my own long blue evening gown, a requirement to be part of the select girls’ choir. I remember wearing it with pride at our performances. We lived the good life. Everything always looked right: our house, our clothes, our family relationships. We had a 33-foot cabin cruiser docked at a nearby private facility in the summer. My parents often attended cocktail parties. My father owned a wholesale furniture store in downtown Detroit that his father had started during the Depression. I wanted to make a difference in my family. I wanted to make others happy and accomplish something in life. One of my brothers once described me as “a bright, shining star.” Sidetracked Fortunately I was able to wean myself from the drugs within a few months. Rebuilding my life, however, took much longer. After a weeklong backpacking trip in the White Mountains I became enamored with the writings and philosophy of Henry David Thoreau. I began to see a new direction in my life. I decided to live a simpler, quieter way of life; and, after a year of college, I moved into a cabin in the woods, where I lived by myself for several months. I didn’t have a job, I didn’t own a car, and I didn’t care that I didn’t have those things. Becoming increasingly more self-absorbed, I did, however, maintain an interest in being a strict vegetarian. After leaving the cabin, I went on to manage a health food store. But somehow I couldn’t get out of my slump. The taproot of my motivation had been cut. Increasingly I had to rely on my parents for financial support. This, of course, didn’t help my self-respect, which was at an all-time low. Eventually I found some Christian affiliation that provided me with an anchor; but even with an anchor, I still drifted. I was looking for something to accomplish; for some deeper meaning in life. Another Detour I couldn’t do it. It was too hard. The feeling of being a failure weighed heavily on me. I knew God couldn’t be pleased with me, and that I could never be good enough for God—or anyone else. For five years I struggled with these feelings and with dangerous concepts about God and what He required of me. More than once I found myself close to cutting all involvement with my church. I even considered taking my own life. At that time I came across the book The Good News Is Better Than You Think, by Robert Wieland. Reading about God’s love and acceptance gave me the hope I had never had. I began to see God in a different light. I understood that God love us in spite of our behaviour—whether it’s good or bad. As I became increasingly comfortable with my understanding of how God regarded me, it dawned on me that when I had asked to be forgiven, God had forgiven me—even if I didn’t feel forgiven. My life began to turn around. Life With Purpose That’s when I heard about Hans Diehl and the Coronary Health Improvement Project (CHIP). A practical, educationally centered lifestyle program, CHIP empowers people and gives them the skills to take responsibility for their own health. When I met the staff and the participants, when I sensed the spirit of ministry that characterizes the CHIP program, I knew I had found what I was looking for. In short order I became involved with the CHIP staff: I learned how to operate a sophisticated audiovisual system. At one of CHIP’s applied nutrition workshops I was asked at the last minute to fill in and demonstrate the preparation of fresh apple crisp. My heart was warmed when some 300 people applauded at the conclusion of my presentation. When an assigned staff member was unavailable, I stepped in to conduct shopping tours at the local grocery store, along with several nationally recognized nutritionists. In the end, the CHIP participants and staff gave me top billing for my shopping tours. For the first time in my life I was truly part of a team, serving others. Over the next two years we conducted four major CHIP programs in Rockford, Illinois and touched more than 1,500 lives. And I, in turn, felt that the Lord was touching me, using me to help others. I began to see myself as I did when I was a teenager: capable, helpful, and talented. Working with teams and having my abilities recognized gave me a chance to find myself once more. I discovered and regained hope. I found meaning and purpose. It all happened in a loving, supportive environment. My passion is now to serve God by helping people improve their health through an understanding of God’s health principles. I can hardly wait to see where He will lead me next. Jane A. Sirignano lives in Goshen, Connecticut. Jane’s testimonial was originally published in the October 2002 North American Division Edition of the Adventist Review and was reproduced for Angel Co-op with permission of the author.
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