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PROTECTING THE GIFT: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker, The Dial Press, Random House, New York, 1999 In my work with women who have experienced abuse in their lives, I am always on the outlook for significant information about keeping safe. Gavin de Becker wrote THE GIFT OF FEAR to show readers that there is a way to predict violent behaviour. PROTECTING THE GIFT is written to empower parents to trust their own intuition where their children's safety is concerned. Fascinating and inspiring for me is de Becker's own childhood history of abuse. His mother was a heroin addict who routinely battered her two children. Young Gavin also saw horrendous violence between his mother and her spouses. He is living evidence that children who grow up in abusive homes are not necessarily doomed to repeat the horrors in their adult years. de Becker's keen observations of the behaviours and tactics used by predators are based on his own experiences of violence, and the many true stories related by others. He has become known as "America's leading expert on predicting violent behaviour" and has appeared several times on the Oprah Winfrey show. Parents today are frequently confused by 'information overload'-- who can we trust? What is true, and what is myth? de Becker's book addresses the following questions:
This is a 'meaty' book with lots of information to chew on in each chapter. The narrative is finely detailed, containing a wealth of well-described data from scholarly research, and the writer's own wealth of career experience in the field of "profiling" criminals and predicting violence. But you and I have fallen asleep over past-read books that contained this kind of useful material. Fortunately, de Becker also has an exquisite story-telling knack, not unlike that of Anne Rule, dubbed the "queen" of the true crime story genre. I certainly picked up a kinship. Besides their mutual ability to fascinate and instruct, there is a strong sense of the authors' compassion for the victims described in their works. I believe that is what separates this book from the usual "cheesy" pop psychology book that you take off to the used book exchange the next available time after reading it. I even read the Appendices when I had finished the book proper. There is a full treatment of the issue of gun ownership, along with a form letter to send off to the major gun manufacturers (Beretta, Colt, etc.) protesting their lack of concerns for the safety of our children, and recommending upgrades to their products. There is also a chapter (Appendix 6) that addresses Autism and Asperger's Syndrome, neurological disorders that affect several young children in our world. Boys with symptoms in the spectrum of these disorders have been significantly represented as perpetrators in the schoolyard massacres. These are often the 'nerdy' or eccentric teens who are picked on mercilessly by their peers, and who finally retaliate with gun violence. It is hopeful to read about the effective interventions in early detection of "rage disorder" and to be reminded that we all play a part in preventing bullying. de Becker appears to be a man of integrity with a mission to make the world a safer, happier place for children and their families.... that would be all of us.
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